Guide for Dads
Going to be a dad soon? Congratulations! Below is a guide to helping make the transition into your new family as easy as possible!
Labour:
- Read your partner’s birth plan and talk about anything you don’t understand. Understand that you may be her main communication with the medical staff – in the middle of labour it’s hard to think about anything but the pain. If you know the basics such as what dilation and an epidural is, you’ll be more of an asset during the labour.
- Source everything she needs ranging from cold packs to drugs. In early labour particularly, you may be left alone. If something happens you also need to know what’s going on and help her in any way needed.
- Don’t be offended by the way you get treated by your partner! Few women go through labour without a few choice swear words or at least snapping at anyone who doesn’t instantly recognize when they want or need something, especially when it’s to relieve their pain.
Hospital:
- Be prepared to help with everything baby related. Changing nappies, feeding and burping doesn’t come naturally to all women like in the movies! Be prepared to help position baby if your partner is breastfeeding (by moving the baby or getting more pillows.)
- Give your partner attention too. No matter what kind of birth she has, she’ll be in at least some pain and also probably be dealing with plenty of hormones. For the first few days or even weeks, it will be common for her to break into tears over something simple. Give her lots of hugs!
- Support your partner. It can be hard for a first time mum to stick up for her rights. If a midwife or doctor says something that your partner isn’t happy with or doesn’t agree with, support her. Sometimes the medical professionals are right but sometimes a mother just knows if there is or isn’t a problem with her baby. If needed ask for a moment alone to discuss any big decisions so you can present a united front on anything from feeding (breast or bottle) to tests and needles.
Home:
- Try to take at least a minimum of a week off work. Your partner will need the support as she and baby form a relationship and begin to start a schedule. Remember – your baby probably won’t have a permanent unchanging schedule till about 2-4 months or even older.
- Don’t complain about anything that doesn’t get done. Your partner will probably be hormonal, sleep deprived, often food deprived (babies have a great way of asking for a feed as soon as a parent sits down to eat) and may even have postnatal depression or blues.
- Try to help around the house. That can be anything from doing the dishes to grabbing some takeaway.
- Vet visitors. Try and arrange a schedule for visitors and be prepared to step in if your partner or baby need a rest. If your partner plans to breastfeed with visitors, you can help adjust a cover on her and position baby. For more information see my visitor guide.
What a great post! When I was pregnant with my first child I couldn’t find anything SMART to give my hubby to read. I wish I had had these tips for him!
Mommy D
Nice tips! I will definitely be putting some of these into play in our new family.
Great post. My wife is expecting so reading anything for dads is always helpful. I am a professional baby photographer so have lots of experience with children but that does mean it will be any easier with my own.